Can't say any single word out~

I felt very sorry to my parent.
I think back about my past.
I treat my parent very bad, and rude!
I really regretted what i have done from the past.
Now i really appreciate all the people around me, especially my parent , my baby and my friends.
I really do!
I really wanted to apologize to my parent. But i can't say any single word out from my mouth and i know i will started to cry! (okey! i know. i really do like a baby)
So, i decide to write them a letter before i am going to NS.
I really wish they will accept my apology.